WATER PARK

(Sunday) Today was a great day! We woke up early and made our way to the orphanage. When we got there we were greeted by a couple dozen smiling faces. They were standing in lines and began singing. They did a little song and dance mostly saying, "Hello!" Then they broke into "If You're Happy and You Know It" which is usually the song we sing. Someone got a bright idea that we should sing back to them and suggested BINGO. It was a failed attempt that did not add up to much compared to the children. The orphanage was under construction, but we did get a little tour. Afterward, we teamed up with the kids and hopped in the tuk tuks.
The water park was nicer than I had anticipated. There were several slides, a wave pool and a floating river. The girls wore clothes while at the water park so we had to wear shorts and a shirt. Many of them were wearing jeans and sweaters! I could not imagine that was comfortable. The water in the floating river was green and the floor was extremely rough. Thankfully we didn't spend a lot of time in it.
There were four mini slides next to one another. We raced up the top and then down to the bottom. Sometimes we would hold hands and slide down together! Then there were two twirling slides. There was a guard at the top, but he was sleeping. Kids pushed and shoved to get to the front of the line. To be honest, there wasn't a line. There was no waiting and no order. Kids went whenever they wanted. We joined in and decided to be reckless as well. Sometimes we would get five or six of us linked together and go down the slide. Othertimes we would get stuck and someone would come crashing in from behind. Either way we were full of smiles, and we would race back up to the top to do it again. There was also a wide yellow slide. About eight of us would hold hands and slide down it. This also led to a few pileups. It was obnoxious and beautiful.

We ate lunch before returning to the water. I ordered a chicken sandwich but got tuna instead. Isabel was nice enough to trade half of her sandwich with me :) The wave pool was not on, but we sat in it anyways. After a while, they turned it on. The waves were fun. I started watching after a little boy who wasn't even in our group. He kept me on my toes though! The water park was such a blast. I haven't giggled that much in a long time. We were all giddy little kids for the afternoon. It was hard to leave and say goodbye. The rest of the evening was pretty mellow.

(Monday) Today was a free day. Although everyone in the group wanted to go to the Killing Fields, Isabel and I decided to go alone. They were going at 8am, and we wanted to sleep in. I woke up at 7am, but it was nice not to set an alarm. When we were ready we went to have breakfast by the river. I had Greek yogurt with honey and toasted cashews. I also had a coffee shake which was just as delicious. There was a man who hassled us for quite some time. At first, I was nice and answered his questions, but then he started telling me he wanted to marry me and that he loved me. He must have been on some very good drugs. He sat down next to us and continued to make pointless remarks. It was a bit annoying.
We decided to head to the Killing Fields around 11. The sun was hotter, but we were on our own schedule. Our tuk tuk driver was very nice, and he drove us to the site and waited. We wanted some coconut juice before we walked around. It was the biggest coconut I have ever had! It took us 10-15 minutes to finish drinking the juice! My belly swelled with the juice; it was a lot!
We had a guide take us around, and two other people joined us. I was completely taken back. First we saw the monument that housed skulls, bones and clothes found within the fields. There were so many. Seventeen shelves held the remains of Khmer people. For a moment, I lost my breath. We walked around and saw the mass graves. There were holes everywhere. Some sections held hundreds of bodies. There were babies and naked women found. Children were killed by being beaten against a tree. We saw the tree, and a sense of nausea overcame me. My mind could only think of one question, "How?" The graves seemed to go on forever.
There was a movie and a small museum. The museum had weapons, clothes and pictures of Khmer people and the Khmer Rouge soldiers. One important peson, Duck was displayed. His name was mentioned often at  Tuol Sleng for being responsible for genocide, crimes against humanity, etc. At this museum, his note of apology was acknowledged. He admitted his crimes; however, there are still trials going on against the remaining Khmer Rouge leaders. Although many have passed away, including the leader Pol Pot, they were never sentenced. The movie did no justice for the nightmare that people were living in.

Isabel and I decided to go back to the Russian Market after the museum. We bought a few gifts and then went back to the city. We went to the Palace Museum and saw artifacts. The gardens were beautiful. There were some monks by the water, and they waved us over. We sat and talked with them for a while. However, they seemed to be hitting on us more than conversing. After some time we walked away and enjoyed the rest of the museum. It was so nice to see the stone carvings and sculptures. It's amazing how much detail is placed in each artifact. In the evening, we ate dinner at a street cafe. Then we met up with some of the group for cocktails on the roof. The cocktails were very good. We only had two before retiring for the evening. It was a long day even if it was a free day.

Phnom Penh

(Saturday) We woke up and packed our bags to head for Phnom Penh. I was sad to leave Mach and Siphen's. They are two incredible people with so many admirable qualities. I have felt like a part of their family while staying with them. We were all sad to go. On our way to the city we stopped at a silk shop. There are former sex trafficked girls that work here. They are taught how to weave beautiful materials and given a better life. It's amazing to see organizations like this. Not only are they helping to rescue these girls, but they are also helping to teach them life skills.
After checking into our guest house, a few of us decide to walk by the river for lunch. We then meet up with the group to go to the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum. The museum used to be a high school building. During the Khmer Rouge it was turned into the Security Prison 21 (S-21). The name translates to "Hill of the Poisonous Trees" and was used by the communist party from 1975-79 when more than 20% of the Khmer population was brutally tortured and killed. Walking up to the building is saddening. There are four separate buildings that display pictures, cells, facts and weapons. Several rooms have beds that were used and dried blood creates a carpet beneath them. Another floor of the building displays cells that were not wide enough for my shoulders to go through. There were endless amounts of cells, and I felt a chill as I walked from one room to the next. I went inside one of the wooden cells and immediately felt claustrophobic. My stomach became knotted.One building was completely covered in barbed wire in order to prevent suicides.
There were photographs of prisoners in one building. The black and white photographs display men, women and children. The Khmer Rouge killed entire families to prevent the children from seeking revenge. They also murdered doctors, politicians, teachers, etc. They forced people out of the cities and their homes into the country. Here they spent long hours working with no more than a spoonful of rice to eat. Those who were sent to S-21 faced the cruelest punishments and torture. They were beaten, stabbed, drowned, hanged, etc. until nearly dead and then interrogated again. Many of them met their fate at the Killing Fields just outside the city. My heart got angry as I went through the museum. I cannot comprehend how one human can do this to another. In this case, Khmer people were doing it to Khmer people. I highly recommended reading about the genocide if interested. I really enjoyed First They Killed My Father which is a memoir about a little girl growing up during the Khmer Rouge.

We only had about an hour to walk around the buildings, but I could have spent the whole day there. I wanted to read more stories and see more pictures. Even though I wanted to close my eyes I could not pretend the images were not real. I had a massive headache that got worse as I walked. Sometimes I had to stop, but I would not have missed the opportunity to learn more about S-21. Our group was leaving and then headed to the Russian Market.

I was a bit thrown off when we were given one hour at the Russian Market. Just before this we were given one hour for the genocide museum. I could not figure out how the two sites had been given the same amount of  importance. The museum deserved more than an hour of recognition. While it was easy to spend an hour at the Russian market, I just found it to be a bit offensive. Isabel and I walked around a bit. I got some black coffee to help with my headache. I did buy one thing at the market. There's real silver here, and I wanted to get my niece something for her baptism. Since I bought a handmade wooden jewelry box in Viet Nam, I thought I could fill it with a silver bracelet. I found a pretty silver bracelet with elephants. Their trunks were raised which is a sign of strength and something I will always wish for my niece. I hope she likes it :)
We left the market and went back to our guest house. The guest house is pretty, and Isabel and I have a perfect view of the palace from our window. When I reached into my bag to pull something out, a scorpion fell onto the floor. I sat on my bed staring at it for a while. I was scared, but I did not lose control. After staring at it for some time, we decided to get someone to come kill it. It was the only scorpion that made it into my bag. That was a bit too close for comfort.
For dinner we went to another NGO restaurant called FRIENDS. The food was incredible! I ordered a beat and goat cheese salad, honey glazed meatballs and springrolls with a garlic mayonaise. Everything melted in my mouth. The service was so friendly and attentive. Both back-of-house and front-of-house are operated by the students. It was a chatterful environment with a good vibe. Next door is a gift shop with handmade items that were made of recycled items. There was also a mini spa for manicures and pedicures. I am absolutely obsessed with this concept!

MAKING A HOUSE A HOME

(Thursday) Last night was a rough night. I barely got four hours of sleep. My mind was burdening me with things of my recent past. It's funny that this time last year I thought I knew exactly what I wanted. I was so sure that I knew who I was and where I was going. The truth is, I hardly knew where to rest my feet. I did not know what I wanted besides a chance to get away. What was I running from? I'm not sure anymore, and I'm tired of running. I miss home.
This morning we had a beautiful breakfast before heading out to our volunteer site. The groups switched jobs today, and we worked on finishing the house. The other group said they were jealous of the day we were about to have, but I was jealous that they got to go to the toilet site where I felt the happiest. We departed for Kampot which took us about an hour to get to.

The house we were building was for a family that was practically living in their cow's shed. They have a boy who is mentally retarded. When we arrive at the site, he is completely naked and smiling from ear to ear. He cannot talk, but he laughs and smiles a lot. Yesterday, the group told us he was tied to a tree so he did not get hurt or get in the way. He is running around with great enthusiasm today. The people are uneducated on how to help the boy, and the neighbors do not like him. It's sad to see him being mistreated so I am grateful to have the opportunity to help build him a house. 
The house was nearly done, but we had to go around the walls with bamboo to keep the leaves from blowing away. It was a tedious job that required a great deal of communication. I was inside the house talking to others outside through the wall. They would stick a metal wire through the bamboo which would then be tied and secured. After pulling tight on so many wires my fingers get calluses. I added more bandages to my already blistered hands and kept working. The little boy was running around everywhere trying to grab cameras and what not. His laugh was contagious. I did get a bit flustered when I was trying to work in a corner where there was a hammock in which he insisted on swinging in and hitting me repeatedly. Anastasia stepped in and took the boy to play. She did an amazing job with him. None of us wanted him to get tied to a tree again so she preoccupied him. I give her major props for her patience and strength. I had neither today.
There's a part of me that is a bit annoyed. Yesterday's team could have very easily finished the house and us the toilet. With the time spent in Takeo, each group should  be building a house and a toilet. The cost is cheap and community members also help build. This house was only $300 to fund. Since there is just small work to finish, a kitchen has been planned. We spent the rest of the morning building a kitchen.

We all took turns with the building process. It was pretty difficult to hammer the nails into the bamboo. I slammed the hammer onto my thumb. I've been good at injuring myself today. After several hours, we decide to break for lunch. The van took us about 20 minutes away to a guesthouse backing into a saltwater river. We had some fried rice and then went swimming. The water was as warm as bath water. It was nice to relax and cool down before heading back to the site.

The work was finished soon after. We built the walls of the kitchen and continued with the ceiling. At one point they tied the boy to a post with a metal wire, but he was able to escape by pulling out the whole post. I was proud of him. Anastasia, again, took the role of playing with him. They danced and twirled; it was really beautiful. This was an extremely challenging site to work at, but I am happy and hopeful. The building has four walls and a door, and right now it is only a house. I hope the family can turn this house into a home.
We head back to the town center for dinner. We sit along the river and enjoy some great food. Afterward we go to the orphanage to watch some traditional Khmer dancing. Tonight there is a special performance. There were orphans from Qatar that flew in. They learned traditional dances and danced together. It was amazing. It was so great to see the cultural immersion. In the middle of the show, there was a break for coffee. Three people sat near right stage and had coffee while the crowd observed. It was interesting, but this is another cultural experience. The show continued with beautiful costumes and dances.

The kids were great. I was so exhausted by the end of the night, and when I got back to our homestay, I had a note on my door. Noam and Anna left me a note that they had tried to wait up for me but had decided to go to bed since it was after 10pm. I went to brush my teeth and heard a door open and close. I knew it was them so I knocked and went over. The note was so sweet; it made me smile. We talked about our days and went to bed. I slept all night :)
(Friday) Today we spent most of the day at Mach and Siphen's house. Since the basketball team won the other day, the final championship game was today. We went to watch them. They won! The other team started throwing things at them. This is how they handled defeat. Siphen took her girls off the court to get away from such poor sportsmanship.We went to the market and bought personal hygiene products for the family with the new toilet. I also bought the four girls a dress or shirt.
When we went to hand over the toilet to the family, we were all overwhelmed with emotions. I held back tears as I listened to the family members thank us. The man said he had never been giving anything in his 70 odd years. I was so inspired yet again. I was moved by their gratitude. I wanted to thank them for helping me grow and learn and have the opportunity to do this. We all took pictures and shared more smiles and laughs. When we were leaving one little girl, Rakata, was already putting on the dress I bought her. I felt my heart smiling. It's amazing how much of a difference a small amount of time and work can make. I wish only good things for this family. The people of Cambodia are continuously inspiring me.

BUILDING MATTERS

(Wednesday) Last night was another rough night sleeping, but I woke up refreshed and full of energy. Today our group is split into two. We are doing two separate building projects. My group has seven members including Madeleine, Sam, Luke, Natalie, Anastasia, Brent and myself. After breakfast we began the toilet project.
We walked through the rice fields from the house to the site. We built a toilet at a nearby house so it was not a far walk. The guys had the hardest job carrying three 250lb cement circles to the site. It was tied with a rope and then strung on bamboo wood to help distribute the weight. The temperature was hot, but the sun was forgiving. The morning had been somewhat cloudy.
There were several families at the site when we got there. There was an old man who was practically folded in half because there's a piece of a bomb lodged in his spine. They were so kind and welcoming. I immediately felt comfortable. They gave us their blessing and thanked us before we started working. The old man told us that the Buddhists believe people who help build toilets (or other personal hygiene items) are meant to have long, prosperous and healthy lives. He spoke with such compassion, and I was even more inspired to start digging.

We had to dig a whole about 3 meters deep. The cement circles would later be placed inside to become a compost.  The digging was hard and strenuous. The tools used were simplistic and ancient. Our shovel was a piece of bamboo and metal. We took the excess dirt and piled it into a woven basket to be taken out of the hole. Within minutes I was drenched in sweat. It was hot and humid as I hunched over trying to dig. I had a lot of fun while digging, but we rotated every so often. I then started stripping bamboo posts. For the first time, I was able to use a machete! I felt my hands getting hotter and hotter until I had a blister in the middle of my palm. It had only been a half hour yet  I already had a blister. I ran back to the house to get my first aid kit, cut a piece of mole's skin and patched myself up. Within minutes I was back to work.

While working there were kids and puppies running around. Each of them were equally beautiful. Cambodian's are extremely beautiful. I think we are slightly obsessed with their perfect features and tanned skin. The kids loved the attention as much as we did. There was one girl named Jan who had the cutest smile. She acted shy, but she wanted her picture taken. The kids were dressed in tattered clothes and were full of dirt. The children had rotting teeth and home cut bangs. 

When the sun got too hot, we all had time to relax. Our group went back to Mach and Siphen's house for lunch. Of course the food was incredible. We ate so much and then wasted time on the hammocks enjoying some shade. Several hours later we returned to work. It was time to lay bricks around the foundation of the bathroom. The men did this part because it was "a man's job" whatever that's supposed to mean.
Instead of fretting, we pulled out our phrase books and began to interact with the families. The kids and adults joined us in a fit of laughter and learning. We asked what everyone's names were and then began talking about animals and foods. Afterward, we went over the months and days of the week. It was so fun saying it in English and then learning it in Khmer. The locals learned the English words and laughed at our poor pronunciation of the Khmer words. I was so happy. We bonded with this family on a much deeper level. I did not feel like we were building a toilet for some stranger but for our friends. I was extremely grateful for their kindness and hospitality.
Madeleine and I helped with the concrete mixture by pumping water from the well and carrying it over. Others collected bricks. When we were done with the water, I decided to collect some bricks. As I was picking up my stack a little gecko poked its head out. I don't think he would have enjoyed being sealed in the bricks and concrete so I shook him out. When the foundation was laid, we had to wait for it to dry. The guys then carried the cement circles into the hole. I think the girls are pretty strong, so I suggested we give it a try. Everyone watched with great enthusiasm when we counted down to lift up the 250lb monster. We were able to lift the circle off the ground and with some help transport it to the hole. I think we all patted ourselves on the back for that one. So much for a "man's job." They must have missed the memo that they had some pretty tough girls on site! Again, more laughter and excitement.
When our work was done, we retreated back to the house. I was sad to leave. This day was the most memorable day. It felt so good to give this family something of substance. In a few days, we will donate more personal hygiene products. Many families are ignorant to personal hygiene. My heart broke when I saw the rotting teeth of the little girls. They all pick lice and fleas off one another and use a bush as a bathroom. I was so happy they let us into their homes and stood by our side the entire time. The personal interaction was unbelievable. We broke the language barrier with as many smiles as possible. Their faces will forever be engraved in my memory. Despite their lack of money, clothes, housing, etc. they were full of life and spirit. Their smiles masked any hardships. I feel fortunate and continuously count my blessings on this trip. I find myself growing and learning from each experience and hope I can continue to have a positive impact on others as they inspire me.

When we got back to the house, Madeleine and I went to teach English at Siphen's after school program. There was not time to shower beforehand so we went all hot and sweaty from a day's work. We mostly talked about universities and our families. The kids that were there spoke great English. Despite taking classes in school, they come to this program to further enhance their skills. They were so fun to talk to and interact with. Some of them were shy, but Mads is really good about bringing people out of their shells. She has an electric energy that can make anyone smile. We all laughed and joked around. Mads and I even made fun of one another and started doing karate in front of the board. Our hour went by so fast. Siphen told us to assign homework, but they kept saying it was too easy. Either way, they didn't do the assignment but who's counting anyways!

Dinner was decadent. It was a bit lonely with just the seven of us, but we had a great time. For dessert we had a banana and tapioca soup with gummy worms in them. The little kids in us may or may not have come out to play. We slurped and gulped and laughed some more. It was the perfect day. I could not have asked for better company and a better experience. I was finally able to shower/ My hair is so dry and damaged. I've been using Dr. Bronner's for the past six weeks. I should have known something that has 18 different uses must not be very hydrating. I flipped my head over the trash and grabbed my Swiss Arm knife and began cutting my ends. I tried to go to sleep; however, my mind became a burden and sleep was not about to come easily.

HOPE FOR HAPPINESS

(Monday) Walking across the border I couldn't help but wonder am I in two places at one time or is this no man's land? I had my backpack on my back and my day pack on my front as I followed step by step in a single line. When we approached the wooden shack we got our stamps and crossed over the border. While waiting for a few others I decided to use the restroom. There was a restaurant across the street, and the man said I didn't have to pay. When I was done using it the girl asked for 500 Riel, but I explained I only had Dong or USD. The man started laughing hysterically asking if I needed toilet paper. I think he mistook my words. After an hour drive we arrived at Siphen and Mach's home for our home stay. I had no idea how much these next few days would impact me...
We were greeted with big smiles and snacks made of rice, coconut and bananas. Immediately I felt a sense of calmness and a great deal of happiness. Siphen and Mach's house is located in rice fields. On the property are a few houses and a small school. There's an outdoor kitchen and covered eating area in the center. A pond is set near the back and was created from a bomb crater. It's laced with fish and lily pads.

I was assigned a room in the guesthouse with Sarah while Noam and Anna were in the room across from ours. We each had our own beds and bathrooms so I was happy to stay there for the next five days. We made ourselves comfortable on the porch and read. There were a few chairs and a hammock. Cambodia is really hot so it was nice to relax and decompress. I laid in the hammock until dinner time. I could not stop reading. As the sun began setting, the cows and chickens made their way back into the barns. The bells around their necks chimed in a rhythmic manner. Another surreal moment.
Dinner was nothing less than spectacular. They prepared spring rolls, pork, rice, fried shrimp and onions and fresh fruit. We all dove right in for the mangoes. I helped myself to seconds of everything. The 15 of us (Hough joined us for a few days!) ate outside with such pleasure and enjoyment. Everyone was laughing and eating while enjoying the cool breeze even if it was coming from a mechanical fan. After dinner Siphen told us more of her family's struggle during the Khmer Rouge. One of her older brothers fled to a refugee camp and later went to America. For 10 years, her family thought he was dead. Another of her brothers had been killed during the genocide. Her story is amazing and encouraging to listen to. After the struggles and terror of the Khmer Rouge her family works hard to create a better future for Cambodia.
(Tuesday) In the middle of the night I woke up in a fit of panic. I couldn't see anything but could hear the animals and insects outside. Scrambling in my sleeping sheet I felt trapped and confused. There's only electricity when the generator is running so I forced my eyes to adjust to the darkness. When my tired mind realized where I was I went back to sleep and woke up the next morning without an alarm clock.
Breakfast included a nice spread that fueled us for the hot day. We went to Siphen's school in a truck pulled by a motorbike. It reminded me of a hayride except there was no hay and instead of a tractor there was a motorbike.

The school has gone under a few renovations and was pleasant. Even more charming were the students. The school teaches English, and we were able to interact with a few of the kids. First we went to a 9th grade classroom, but I chickened out of talking to anyone. I got so nervous and could not find words to make a conversation.
The next classroom was full of 12th graders, and I was practically forced to sit down and converse. It was a good push that I needed. I picked a row of three boys. They were very welcoming and engaging. One of them, Semae, stuck out to me. We shared stores and answered questions for almost 20 minutes. He was so enthusiastic and full of questions. His English was very good. He told me he wanted to go to a university but feared he couldn't because his family couldn't afford to send him to school. This is very common in Cambodia. Many families work in the fields and make little money. When I asked him what he did for fun he mentioned that he had no free time because of his studies. I was really inspired by him and the other students. They are eager to learn and wish for the opportunity to go to school. These kids want a better future for themselves and a chance at a career.
The most expensive university in Phnom Phen is $800 a year. After talking to Semae and later Siphen, I decided to help sponsor him. By providing grades, documents and other information, I will be able to help send him to a university and earn a degree. Talking to these kids really inspired me. I couldn't believe how much hard work and determination they have. To us this tuition is a small fee in which rent usually costs more than this. However, this is a lot of money for many people in Cambodia. Even the cheaper schools that cost several hundred dollars less are hard to afford. Siphen has offered to be the middle(wo)man and make sure everything is taken care of and both parties fulfill the agreed terms. I am really excited at the opportunity to help this kid. I normally prefer to spend my time volunteering instead of writing a check. This feels a bit different because I have had personal interactions with him. He moved me. I walked out of that classroom feeling inspired.
After our conversations we sang some songs. We tend to sing "If You're Happy and You Know It"even if we are all a bit old. Everyone got involved and clapped their hands or stomped their feet. Several rounds later, the students sang on of Cambodia's anthems. It was so beautiful. I felt as if I was daydreaming. They sang with such perfection.
When we left the classroom we headed to the library. There were many students reading in there. Books for Cambodia helps fill the room. The kids let us read some of the English translations before we head to the organic garden. The garden is ran by the Eco-Club, and the students are able to bring the fruits and vegetables home to their families. I love the skills that are taught and the opportunities that are offered outside the classroom.
The sun was so hot that we decided to have some sugarcane juice. There was a cart in which they crushed the sugarcane and drained the juice. Sometimes more sugar water is added. We drank it as is out of a plastic baggie. It was very refreshing. 

When we left the school we headed to a wat that Siphen's father had helped build. The kids followed us with curious eyes. Then we went to see a basketball game. Siphen's girls were playing a basketball tournament, and their coach is a Peace Corps. volunteer. When we pulled into the school everyone stood up and waved. It was so hot and hard to concentrate. The girls were playing in the middle of the day with clothes on underneath their uniforms. I give them a lot of credit. Despite the heat, they won!

After the game we went to the market. It was congested and filled with flies. I was intrigued by all the beautiful older women. They would stare at us while we stared back both with hungry eyes curiously observing one another. Their skin was darkened by the sun and set with crevices each telling a story. Eventually we'd awkwardly smile at one another and laugh in acknowledgment. We tried some potato patty and walked around for a bit before returning to the house.

The rest of the evening was spent in a hammock and eating. The food was unbelievable. They are spoiling us at this homestay. Of course we had seconds and even thirds for dinner. Afterward, we played some connect four. There was more reading and then it was time for bed. The generator turned off around 10:30pm, and the only sound was that of the great outdoors.